Falling in love with a transgender man…

‘When you date a man who was not born male, people have questions. Most of these questions are about sexual relations. Some are astonishingly bold, like my good friend who requested I draw her a picture of what my boyfriend’s privates looked like.

Then there was my mother, who, upon hearing that my online beau and I were officially an item, blurted out, “Does it even work?”

Transmen are used to these queries, invasive and inappropriate as they may be. This is still a man’s world—men earn more, control more, are valued more—and what makes a man is nothing less than the key to the cultural castle. If the only true definition of manliness is “one who possesses a working penis,” that poses an interesting dilemma for the guy who’s suffered, say, an unfortunate lamb shearing accident. And what about men with negligible penises? Are they only 10 percent male? How about men who require pills to make their penises elevate? Are they men only when medicated?

“But Ali,” my mother says, lowering her voice to a whisper, “you’re not gay.”‘


About Madame Moselle

Freelance provocateur. Enthusiastic optimist. Dancing bear. Believer. Facilitator of perversion. Disseminator. Libertine. Moth and flame. Rouser of rabble. Stirrer of pots. Bowerbird. Public spectacle.
This entry was posted in GLBTQQ (and the much disputed 'I'), Sex and Gender Diverse, Trans*. Bookmark the permalink.

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